Polo Dictionary
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This is something I have been mulling over in my brain box for a while. I will start it, but please help in building it, if you have any ideas please comment below or post ideas on the Goal Hole facebook page.
CHANGES ARE IN ITALICS!
AHBPA . abbreviation
1 Australian Hardcourt Bike Polo Association. see here for more info
- see also noun . Jedi Council
baby bird . verb
1 Pouring a beer into a winners mouth, sometimes forcibly.
boards . noun
1 Barriers around the court often made of wood.
beer break . noun
1 Called in an un-timed pick up game that has gone too long.
beer point . noun
1 The last goal when a game is 4-4 or a pick up game has gone too long, no one remembers the score and people want the game to end.
beer goals . verb
1 Game where after a goal is scored players take a chug of beer. Usually used in serious grudge matches with lots at stake ie. pride and ego.
big shot city . heckle
1 Used when a game starts turning into a half court shootout with no success.
blind Watson . verb
1 The attempt to strike the ball while riding away from net.
(Philly)
blow the whistle . heckle
1 Term of (sarcastic) endearment used by a player to encourage the referee to continue with their current level of scrutiny over a polo match.
- see also h . fuck the rules for ORIGIN
bunch of sticks . heckle
1 A dubiously (if at all) politically correct term for faggot. eg. “You are such a bunch of sticks”
cat basketball . noun
1 Shortly after dog soccer was created. The Great Old Cats (Ceiling Cat, Long Cat, Basement Cat, and Tacgnol) vying for control of the Earth and all it’s meme’s created the sport and it was observed by mortal cats and was played for thousands of years until the uprising of the humans and it was almost forgotten if it were not for the cat whisperers of the Andes discovering the Great Old Cat sport and dumbing it down to a more humanistic form and thus bike polo was born.
check . verb
1 A player using their body or bike to knock opposing player onto the barriers or ground. Can be a penalty. Can be awesome.
cheating . verb
1 Playing sober.
chicken wing
1 Using the elbow (like a chicken wing) to push or hook an opponents drive hand in an attempt to knock the player off. This is a penalty.
cintre . noun
1 Kiwi for centre.
-see also n . muddle
clown shoes . heckle
1 An insult inferring that the player is a joke, including their actions, habits, appearance, and ultimately, their existence.
cluster fuck . verb
1 When many players and or the ball get jammed in a corner or tight situation. 2 heckle . Shouted by crowd at above situation.
coming on your backside . heckle
1 Used to tell a player you are behind them.
corner goal . heckle
1 A ball shot into the corner of the court. Usually a long windup followed by a laser shank to the corner pole of the court.
cross Crandall . noun
1 Shooting on goal over your steering arm.
cunt-hammer . heckle
1 Exclamation expressing support or enthusiasm.
e.g. “Judy’s had the baby and it’s not addicted to crack? Cunt-hammer! That’s a miracle.”
2 a . Used to indicate the awesomeness of something. e.g. “Have you seen that cunt-hammer new headset on Greg’s polo bike?”
3 n . A blunt instrument used to strike a vagina.
dab . verb (Dabbed, Dabbing)
1 To place a foot on the ground during play.
Detroit pass . noun
1 A drop pass where the two team mates cross and the direction of play is switched. Similar to what the Wings used to do at the blue line usually to make space for a pass or shot.
dick move . heckle
1 Shouted at a player when blatantly cheating or playing in an unsporting manner. 2 v . To play in the manner above. eg. “That check was such a dick move.”
do you go down on your Mum like that? . heckle
1 Asked when a player crashes hard.
- ORIGIN 2011 Nationals in Adelaide, Majestic Pink Shafts brainstormed the most controversial heckle they could to unleash on the National stage.
DOGSOCCER! . heckle
1 The true definition was lost aeons ago. Physicists have discovered it existed before the Big Bang, floating as a lone pulse of energy in the infinite void. Physicists hypothesise it caused the Big Bang and the infinitely expanding rush of matter that created the universe as we know it. Shouted randomly at any interval as it is alway relevant.
2 noun . Team name of Brook, Captain Morgan and Tom (Sydney) who came third at Nationals 2012.
3 Also know as “the Dog Particle”.
dolphin slap. noun
1 Taking your opponent’s front wheel out or making contact with them with a whipping motion where your rear wheel is in the air. This is a penalty.
donkey punch . noun
1 Hitting the ball out of the air while holding the mallet near the head.
doughnut . noun
1 Scoring zero when beaten in a first to five game.
fat goals . noun
1 Important, lead or momentum changing goals.
fifth corner . noun
1 A player who when you pass to them you know you’re never getting the ball back. (East Van)
five hole . noun
1 The space under a goal keepers bottom bracket.
freedom block . noun
1 Using the shaft to block a goal by quickly ducking and touching the ground while staying on the bike in goal.
-SEE ALSO hulk smash . noun and knuckle dragging . noun
fuck the rules . heckle
1 Protest against over-refereeing and needless game stoppage, eg. during 2012 Nationals, DOGSOCCER! vs. Majestic Pink Shafts quarter final game and the over zealous refereeing.
goal hole . noun
1 The goal space between back or front wheel and the post or under a goal keepers bike. 2 Website you are ogling right now douche-bag.
hook . verb
1 Using a mallet to pull another players mallet away from the ball.
hotdog . noun
1 A wheelie on a bike, usually when drunk. eg Andy Tipene: “No drunken hotdogs this Nationals.”
hulk smash . noun
1 Using the shaft to block a goal by quickly ducking and touching the ground while staying on the bike in goal.
-SEE ALSO freedom block . noun and knuckle dragging . noun
Jedi Council . noun
1 Australian Hardcourt Bike Polo Association. see here for more info
- see also AHBPA . abbreviation
joust . verb
1 Starting the game by charging for the ball in the centre. 2 n. The first hardcourt bike polo specific frame, the Fleet Velo – Joust.
knuckle dragging . noun
1 Using the shaft to block a goal by quickly ducking and touching the ground while staying on the bike in goal.
-SEE ALSO hulk smash . noun and freedom block . noun
lefty magic or lefty bullshit
1 Anything a lefty does in the sport.
Lewis . verb (lewising)
1 When a player hops their bike regaining balance to avoid dabbing. 2 heckle . When a player is hoping the crowd shout “Lewis”.
- ORIGIN Brisbane players were first introduced to this skill by a player formerly from Sydney called Lewis, his name became synonymous with the tactic.
Locky . verb
1 Hitting a player in the face with a mallet.
- ORIGIN Locky, from LSV, hit a player in the face in the final of Nationals 2010. His name became synonymous with the action.
love dick . heckle
1 Graffitied on players bikes, helmets and as knuckles tattoo’s in permanent marker.
-ORIGIN Nationals 2011 Adelaide, LSV had too much time and a texta.
mallet . noun (pl. mallets)
1 Commonly a piece of poly ethylene pipe attached to aluminium tubing (ski pole), but can be made of other materials. 2 verb . (malleting, malleted) To place a mallet under a players front wheel.
more goalies . heckle
1 Shouted at a team using double or triple keeper.
more wind up . heckle
1 Shouted at a player when making repeated big swing shots.
muddle . noun
1 Kiwi for middle.
- see also n . cintre
NAH . noun
1 The organising body for North American Hardcourt Bike Polo. 2 verb . Playing in a rough, physical manner similar to that in North American polo. Usually shouted by the player while being rough. (Dom)
nice pass . heckle
1 When a player misses a shot. Mostly when there was an open pass.
no arms . heckle
1 Used to sarcastically compliment a persons shot, eg “Nice shot No Arms”.
no wheelie no goal . heckle
1 Shouted at a player after scoring.
not a single fuck was given . noun (NASFWG)
1 Scotties attitude at tournaments, specifically him lying nonchalant on barriers while smoking a ciggy.
2 Team name for Ned, Prawi and Scottie who won AHBPC 2012, their logo was a photo of Scottie in the above position.
penis! . heckle
1 Shouted at players about to shoot for goal in an attempt to put them off. 2 Shouted in a crowd as loud as possible to cause a ruckus.
pick up . noun
1 Informal style of polo played across the world where commonly players in teams are randomly drawn by dividing the mallets on the court. Systems and rules vary with region.
rootbeer approved . noun
1 A mark of honor to anything bearing the seal.
shitballs or sickballs . verb
1 Ether a positive or negative term.
shepherds hook . noun
1 Referring to strange mallet heads made in a mold out of melted plastic bag.
shoeing . verb
1 A Brisbane sign of respect where the crowed throws their shoes at a player. Hard. Not to be confused with the modern Arab protest of shoeing. Often reserved for spectacular play or a fair-well.
-ORIGIN Invented by Rootbeer while heckling Johnson for not getting out of goal during a Sunday pick up game. It soon evolved into a mark of respect, albiet violent and smelly.
shot . noun
1 To hit the ball with the round end of the mallet, enabling the player to score a goal.
shotgun . verb
1 Method of sculling a can of beer, usually by piercing the bottom of the can.
shuffle . verb
1 To hit the ball with the flat of the mallet, not using the round tip like a shot. 2 To score a goal with anything that is not a shot eg. the shaft.
the sixth defender . noun
1 Taking a hard shot that ends up in your own wheel cover.
slash . verb
1 Using a shaft to hit another players shaft, aiming to break the shaft or disarm the player. Now considered a penalty. 2 noun . Glam rock guitarist with a hat and a mop of hair
stale bread . verb
1 Gently shooting the ball by tapping to catch a keeper off guard.
strawpedo . verb
1 Using a straw as a snorkel to scull a beer.
t-bone . verb
1 To crash into the side of a player, this can incur a sever penalty.
tap-out . verb
1 To tap one of two central points after dabbing allowing player to return to play.
Tulsa Turnaround . noun
1 Tulsa Turnaround is similar to the Blind Watson in that both shoot the ball behind you while riding away from the goal. The difference is that the Tulsa Turnaround is steering side shot that requires you to reach across and over your bars to shoot the ball behind you. (Portland)
-ORIGIN Named after the Kenny Rogers song of the same name.
thats what she said . heckle
1 Used in any situation where a person says anything that can be taken as sexual eg “I can’t get it in”, “Your mallet is really long” etc. 2 noun . Team name of the 2011 Nationals runners up from Adelaide.
top key . noun
1 A play, calling for a pass in front of the oppositions goal.
- DERIVATIVES Tea Kettle and TK
- ORIGIN Tea Kettle was made famous by Captain Morgan as a heckle against Brisbane players at the Taupo Tap-Out in New Zealand.
tripod . verb
1 A player balancing on the bike using the mallet for support, resembling a tripod.
whip . noun
1 Term for bike.
wild swings . verb
1 Shots made with a large windup of the players mallet. Can be derogatory.
you’ll do . heckle
1 Gold Coast pickup line, used by Bennet to distract the opposition or to woo Ollie – usually followed by the pick up line: “Want to come back to my caravan and look at my Centrelink cheque?”
Alternate names for Bike Polo:
- Bike Polo
- Hardcourt
- Bike Hockey
- Faggot Bike Golf
- Space hockey
- Extreme Urban Hammerball
- Honkey ball
- Bicycle stick fighting
Have any more ideas? Contact us and send us a definition?
By Ollie Wykeham
An example of a quality bike bag, 