Winner that is.

GOALHOLE’s first ever Captioning Competition in conjunction with Gear Brisbane has come to a close.

As GOALHOLE is not a democracy I (Ollie) got to choose the winner. It was a hard decision but the easiest way to decide was the one that made me laugh so hard I nearly spat on my screen.

Without further ado the winner (of their choice of sale tee shirt from Gear) is …

… Jock Cockburn!

I think this choice says more about my sick sense of humor than anything else. Thanks to BOgear Dave for being a good sport!

Jack Golding came a close second with his:

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH IM ON FIRE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL STARING. SOMEONE PUT ME OUT!

Virginia chose Ranga Dave (of BOgear)’s own comment:

You’re all wrong. I distinctly remember this shot being taken, and it went something like this:

“OH MY GOD. I THINK I JUST SHARTED..!”

And Jamie chose Captain Morgans:

SSSSHHITT Ollie! Whats that bump on it?

Thanks to everyone for commenting, they were all bloody hilarious (Claire, Rupert and Mikeys are still making me giggle). If you didn’t see all the entries, look here.

Jock won his choice of a sale tee shirt at Gear Brisbane. Thanks heaps to Erik from Gear for this prize and for his ongoing support of Australasian bike polo.

By Ollie Wykeham

Write a caption for the above photo of BO gear Ranga Dave and win a prize.
The prize is your choice of $20 sale tee shirt from Gear shop Brisbane.

For those of you still confused Gear is a bike shop, BO gear make bags. They are separate entities!

Entries close in a week, so get creative. Best/funniest wins!

When you hear the expression “Rang-attack”, this man instantly springs to mind.  Super fast on court but never furious, Dave is one of the few gentlemen of the sport.  I have rarely seen Dave more uncomfortable than when posing for a hands-on Triple Dutch Rudder photograph except for the time in Taupo that this also involved a giant sheep.  Here’s a little more about Dave.

City:  Brisbane

Team: Triple Dutch Rudder

Years played:  5 years

Super power:  Getting low

Favourite heckle:  Nice shot no arms!

Bike:  Colossi frame, fixed with back brake only and 46:22 ratio

Mallet:  Northern standard, with single cap head with cut out sides

Protection:  Gloves

What do you love most about bike polo?
Community and friends

Dave has also been a massive supporter of bike polo through his company BO Gear.  He makes wicked bags and straps and stuff – check it out here

If you missed our last player profile on Brook-Tait-Styles you can access it here

By Virginia Castellan

A guide for the uninitiated

First things first:
get your shit there in one piece. Baggage handlers are the devil. When they are not busy framing Saints like Chappelle Corby, they are breaking your trusty steed.

Step 1,
Get a bike bag: Any decent bag company will sell you one. Constantly borrowing bike bags is like borrowing condoms; it’s not going to make you any friends when it rips. Boxes are bulky and impossible to ride with, bags like the BO gear bike back are not only light and compact but will double as a pillow or sleeping bag when you get to that host’s house where you will be sleeping the next few nights.

Step 2,
get to the airport early and pack that shit right: Fork and dropout inserts. They are cheap and probably came in the box your bike came in. Your local bike shop will help you out. Dropouts get squashed and will no longer fit your wheel, those pretty carbon forks are going to smash and you are going to cry. Make sure you have no tools floating around your on board luggage; anything can be used as a weapon, don’t you know? Other common things broken in transit are brake callipers and pedals that have been left in cranks, secure it with tape or bubble wrap it.

An example of a quality bike bag, BO GEAR’s BIKE BAG

Step 3, Get there early.
If you are arriving a day or two before the tournament, get down to the courts. Help the locals set up barriers, if you have ever had to organise a tournament you know that every set of hands is valuable. Even if it is just doing a coffee or beer run, every little bit will help the weekend run smoother. Meeting people in a new city can be difficult, but people will always be more receptive to someone who has helped them out.

Not all courts possess the amazing topography and unparalleled surfacing of Musgrave park. Make sure you get a few practice games in to get used to the court size and surface. Pre-tournament pickup are some of the best games you will play. Just remember not to tire yourself out too much or give away any of your secret moves.

Get to know your local ‘man of vice’.
No matter where you go, there will always be someone who will go out of the way to show visitors a good time. Whether it be a good local beer, a vegan friendly restaurant or something more sinister, it is always good to know a local. Just be careful and don’t forget that in the morning when the tournament starts, they will be your nemesis once again. Don’t do or try anything the locals don’t, you might wake up with a case of food poisoning or an embarrassing itch from the city’s seedier establishments.

By Jamie Barber