Travel is a huge part of bike polo for a lot of players. Flying with a bike can be a hassle but having a good bike bag and the right packing system makes a huge difference. As you can see from the picture above, I am a chaotic bike packer at the best of times.  I have no system apart from bike in first, mallets in last which is probably why my frame ends up with more scratches in transit than it does on the court.

Lucky for me, Dave Bell has come to the rescue.  Dave runs BOgear, a company dedicated to making hard wearing outdoor gear from their little design studio in Brisbane, Australia. They also use a lot of reclaimed material in their products which is awesome.  After much research and years of painstaking polo travel, Dave has started producing Royd bike bags and has written and filmed a guide to packing your precious cargo.

I know we have already taken a look at travel in an earlier post called Tournament Tips.  Dave takes it a few steps further with his step by step instructional video (below).  If reading is more your thing, check out the BOgear post here. 

Prefer things short and sweet?  Here are Dave’s nine steps:

1. Use zip ties
2. Use protective guards on your axles
3. Use drop out protectors
4. Tape drop out protectors in place
5. Zip tie your chain to your chainring (if you are lazy)
6. Use bags and stuff sacks to fill wasted volume in your bag, protect your bike, and reduce your carry on weight
7. Zip tie bags and padding down. Yeah I know this is also tip #1, but it is important!
8. Pad your bike frame tubes
9. Pack your wheels low to protect your frame.

How do you usually travel with your bike? What are your tips for packing?

By Virginia Castellan and Dave Bell

Disclaimer: All of the GOALHOLE crew own one or more of Dave’s products.  We think his stuff is awesome. Dave has also been a massive supporter of bike polo in Australia and New Zealand. We make no apology for promoting his products – we think you should buy some too.  Go on!  Take a look – BOGear

Last week, in Part One of Goal Keeping 101, Tom looked at Positioning and Balance.  In Part Two this week he takes us through Blocking and In and Out.

3) Blocking

Being a static goalie will only get you so far. Eventually you’ll come up against a player who can place a shot exactly where they want, and this is when you’ll need to be able to actively block.

The Basics:
Keep you mallet in front of your five hole, keep your weight off it, and keep you eye on the ball. Wait until the ball is within reach to make a lunge or swipe at it. It sounds obvious, but many newbie goalies start swiping at the ball when it’s too far away to do anything. Don’t do this.

Intermediate:
Once you’ve mastered balancing you should be able to follow the ball with your mallet without needing it to balance. If you do make a block you’ll then want to try and clear the ball out as well. Push it to the sides if possible as this will stop the attackers getting a rebound shot. Pay special attention to the attackers coming in from slightly behind you (around the 4 or 5 O’Clock position), these are harder to block and stay balanced as you need to turn your body quite a bit.

Advanced:
If you’ve got the balance and the flexibility learn to hulk smash, touch the ground with your knuckles and use the shaft of the mallet to block the shots.

4) In and Out

The Basics:
Getting into position quickly is vital, if the joust doesn’t go your teams way you really want to be blocking up the goals before the other team can get a shot off. When lining up before the start of the game talk with your team mates and decide who is going into goal and who is jousting. Whoever is going into goal should start on their mallet hand side of the goal, and right next to it, so you’re not going to cross the jousters path as they are sprinting for the ball. Then when the whistle is blown simple roll, unobstructed, into position.

Intermediate:
If you’re playing out of goals it’s important to keep a track of what’s happening at your base line as at any moment your goalie could rush out to take advantage of a breakaway. Even if you fancy yourself a striker it may be necessary to roll back into your goal and block up the hole while your team mates do their thing (letting other people have a go is what part of team sports is all about). If your teams style is to play three up that’s cool too, but get ready to sprint back if needed. Scoring on an empty goal is boring for everyone watching, and getting scored on while your goal is empty is just embarrassing, so try not to let it happen.

Advanced:
It’s no good being the best goalie in the world if your other team members can’t score. Keep an eye on the play and be ready to roll out of goal and run up the field yourself. You get some great opportunities this way but it can be difficult to judge when it’s worth taking the risk and when it’s better to sit tight. Learn how your team plays and most importantly communicate so that if you do roll out someone is ready to jump in and keep the goals blocked up tight. Even if you’re playing as a dedicated goalie it’s good to get out every once in a while to keep your eye in and your body nice and limber.

Conclusion:

It’s not always as glamorous as being the goal shooter but being a good goalie is a critical part of being a good polo player. If you follow these tips and practice your positioning, balance, blocking and moving in and out you’ll be well on your way to helping your team take home some donuts.

By Tom Partington

Photographs by Marty Drdy, Mike Critch, Geoffrey Tomlin-Hood, Richard Brown and Stephanie Simcox

If you missed part one you can find it here.

The best way to improve your polo game is to get out and play, but here are a few things to keep in mind when you find yourself sitting tight between the cones.

1) Positioning

This is the most critical part of being a good goalie. Get it right and you can block all but well the well placed (or fluke) shots. Get it wrong and it doesn’t matter how good the rest of your skill set is – you’ll get scored on. Luckily it’s also the easiest part to learn.

The Basics:
When you’re starting out you’ll want to fill the goal with as much of the bike as possible. Line it up between the cones or the sides of the net so you’re directly in front and as close to the cones/nets as you can get without knocking them over. This will leave three holes;

1) the back door, behind your back wheel

2) the five hole, between your wheels

3) the front door, in front of your front wheel

Then sit and wait for the ball to come and hopefully when it does it’ll hit one of your wheels. Simply by keeping as much of your bike in front of the goal as possible you’ll block a good proportion of shots.

It’s important to make sure you’re not leaving the back door open, which is to say letting the gap behind your rear wheel get too large, check this constantly and correct by rolling forward and then using your mallet to help roll backwards and get your rear wheel tucked in nice and close to the cone or net..

Intermediate:
Once you’ve mastered the basics of goaling it’s better to start back a little further. This eliminates the back door completely, but opens up the front. The reasoning for this is simple, it’s much easier to roll forward quickly and block the front door with your wheel and sweep the ball away with your mallet than it is to stop a well placed shot through the back door. Also, shots which would have gone sailing through your five hole will now hit your front wheel. Which is super frustrating for big hitters and hilarious for you.

Advanced:
When you’re confident rolling forward to block shots then you can start moving around a little more and start covering the side of the goal which the play is on. If you’re a righty goalie this means covering the front door when the play is on the left (in front of you) and the back door when the play is on the right (behind you), if you’re a lefty weirdo reverse this. Your wheels are much bigger than your mallet, so if you can get them in the way of the ball, you stand a much better chance of blocking the shot.

2) Balance

Being able to stay up on your bike is vital, you’re no use to your team if you’re constantly riding back to the center to tap out. Balance is something which improves over time but there are a few things to watch out for and to practice to help improve your goal keeping.

The Basics:
Try to keep too much weight off your mallet. Tripoding makes it easy to stay up, but if you rely too heavily on your mallet you’ll be slower to block shots and much more vulnerable to having other players trip you up by pulling your mallet out from under you. although mallet slashing is considered a dick move in many clubs, people will still try it in tournaments and it’s unlikely that the reff will call them out for it.

Intermediate:
Learn to trackstand, even if you don’t have a fixed gear bike this is an excellent skill to practice anytime you’re on a bike. It’ll help you keep you balance in goals and you’ll be able to focus on the ball and blocking the shot.

Advanced:
Learn to jump, if you’re confident enough to play in cleats then do, they’ll keep you stuck to the pedals much better and make it much easier to jump the bike forward or back to block a shot or to regain your balance if you lose it by hopping sideways.. Rumour has it that the worlds greatest goalie was able to stay up and in goal for an entire match after dropping his chain on the joust just by jumping.

..Next week – Part Two – Blocking and In and Out

By Tom Partington

Photographs by Stephanie Simcox, Cooper, Erica Jean, Richard Brown and Belle Pepper

I was addicted the first time I played bike polo. It is free, fun as fuck and there is heaps of beer involved. When it began in Brisbane it was a handful of guys meeting up once or twice a month to hit a ball in the park with slipshod mallets made of golf clubs and PVC. The humidity and rain tend to thin the numbers out a little over summer, but Sunday polo is a pretty big deal in Brisbane, with up to 6 piles being stacked in advance for games. We figure we either need a better permanent court with lights or to retrofit our beloved Musgrave Park with floodlights. Not all councils are as nice as Sydney’s, who don’t have to pay for their court use. Melbourne players have to pay a small amount of money when they play at their awesome courts near the markets, which is a bit of a deterrent for players. Brisbane players are notoriously lazy and cheap, so having to travel to, as well as pay for courts did not sound like a viable option. Whether it is for travel, court upgrades or insurance, fundraising is sometimes a necessary evil. Today we take a look at how the Brisbane polo crew raised cash post-haste.

At first I really liked Perth’s ideas of delivering the White Pages, but from what I heard, it was pretty physical work for a minimal amount of money. Cake stalls and sausage sizzles at the courts are nice, but they have the potential to underperform as you are only aiming your efforts at fellow polo players, who can tend be total tightarses. What I particularly like about the first 2 options is that they utilise the public’s money rather than polo player’s to make a profit.

Vintage clothing/ rummage sale: I’m guessing other cities have these too. People bring suitcases of clothes to wherever the event is being held. Hipsters then go through your shit, haggle over the price and then buy something when they deem it vintage/ironic/kooky enough to them (usually with hundred dollar bills their parents gave them, bring plenty of change!) This is a good way to clear out people’s garages and spare rooms. This shit is pure fucking profit, plus you can spread the word about how polo makes your genitals tingle with excitement. St Jerome’s festival this year asked people to turn up and sell their wares. You got free/cheap entry and if you hustled your crap well enough, you were free to go explore the festival. If not, you just had to stay around until dark and were then free to leave. The downside is potential poor turnouts due to inclement weather and the fact that they are usually held on the weekend, which is prime polo time.

Scientific fact; beer makes you better at polo. What’s that? Your doctor says you have a drinking problem? Fuck that tool, drinking is rad. Trust me, I’m a nurse. On a number of occasions we have brought slabs like First Choice Liquor’s Cleanskin beer. It is 30 dollars a slab and is a pretty decent lager. Ottinger as well as Hammer n Tongs are also cheap up here too. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good craft beer as much as the next person, but once you have had 2 or 3, taste isn’t really a factor anymore. At first in Brisbane, people were hesitant to drink the cheap beers, but days like Valentines and ANZAC saw us drink 4-5 cases each day, which would have netted a pretty tidy hypothetical profit if money was exchanged for beer, which didn’t happen as we have the utmost respect for liquor licencing laws as well as the kind folks at the Australian Taxation Office.

Selling chocolates for fundraising is kind of cliché and conjures images of angry girl scouts berating you at the door of your home. However it is pretty easy and quite profitable. I contacted Cadbury (just Google Cadbury fundraising) and they sent out a number of mixed pack boxes. You don’t have to pay up front and you take nearly fifty per cent of sales in profits. Workplaces tend to be pretty supportive of the idea, so if everyone pitches in, easy cash can be made. The honesty system tends to work, one of our boxes was accidentally left on a council bus and taken in as lost property. The person who lost it contacted the bus depot to be told that they had sold all the chocolates and she was free to come pick up her cash.

We are well on our way to upgrades for the court, but are always open to suggestion.

Let us know what kind of fundraising you reckon would work.  Post a comment here or email us at goalholepolo@gmail.com

By Jamie Barber

The face-mask is the new vouge of Australian polo. Or so it seemed at AHBPC12 in Perth. For the boys seemed to be looking to protect their assets by any means necessary. Unlike our ever tough polo ladies, who laughed at this wanten display of vanity. Here are a couple of photos I snatched between beers and hangs. There aren’t many photos, I was having too much fun, drinking/talking/pickup all took priority, so enjoy the few I have.

Ned demonstrating the Mycro Hurling helmet he, Scottie and Jordy-Boy swear by, these helmets seem light, durable and the cage does not block the view like others. Jordan upgraded to one of these from a cricket helmet, which he said limited his view too much. (I want a Mycro, but I still secretly want to try a cricket helmet first!)

 

Domenico, my team mate (♥), opted for a Bauer ice hockey mask. His is clear perspex. This avoids any potential inhibited vision, but the down side is it can fog up. He was telling me that in big games when he is sweaty and under the pump that it is like being in a sauna.
From the man himself:

“You can’t touch your face at all. But it’s extremely light weight and you forget you have it on you face. As after a game at Nats in Perth I slammed a beer into the fish bowl.”

 

Rob once again testing Teds ice hockey mask. Teddy Boy bought this off ebay for cheap cheap cheap in the days before nationals, he wore it a little but said it was uncomfortable. To be honest I think it cramped his reckless style. Ether way we got his moneys worth for him in one night of drunken antics pre AHBPC12. This looks to be a great budget option.

 

This is Jamie attempting to punish himself after asking Ted to put the mask on, then punching him hard in the face. No Ted’s were hurt in the making of this photo. Nor in the testing of these masks. Nor in the pre AHBPC12 celebrations.

If DIY is your thing, or you want some more options or discussion have a look at the LoBP thread on this matter.

In conclusion: if you want to protect your pretty looks, get a face cage.
There are plenty of options out there, just be smart and weigh up the pros and cons, or as Wikipedia just taught me the “pro et contra” – (the original Latin, meaning for and against.)

By Ollie Wykeham

Handsome Rob is not only the handsomest man in polo (voted such at the BNE Christmas party last year), he is also a good sport. Here he is putting Teds face mask through a strict testing regiment before he allowed little Teddy to venture on the courts with it in Perth.

Not.

We just got drunk and decided to hit him in the face.

 

Maybe it was to make him less pretty…

Smiling during a game is good.  Laughing is even better.

This is a community service announcement brought to you by GOALHOLE.

Photograph by Oliver Wykeham

All the new definitions are in italics.

Check it out here

 

 

The polo dictionary has moved.  Please click here for the latest version.

 

This is something I have been mulling over in my brain box for a while. I will start it, but please help in building it, if you have any ideas please comment below or post ideas on the Goal Hole facebook page.

CHANGES ARE IN ITALICS!

AHBPA . abbreviation
1 Australian Hardcourt Bike Polo Association. see here for more info
- see also noun . Jedi Council

baby bird . verb
1 Pouring a beer into a winners mouth, sometimes forcibly.

boards . noun
1 Barriers around the court often made of wood.

beer break . noun
1 Called in an un-timed pick up game that has gone too long.

beer point . noun
1 The last goal when a game is 4-4 or a pick up game has gone too long, no one remembers the score and people want the game to end.

beer goals . verb
1 Game where after a goal is scored players take a chug of beer. Usually used in serious grudge matches with lots at stake ie. pride and ego.

big shot city . heckle
1 Used when a game starts turning into a half court shootout with no success.

blind Watson . verb
1 The attempt to strike the ball while riding away from net.
(Philly)

blow the whistle . heckle  
1 Term of (sarcastic) endearment used by a player to encourage the referee to continue with their current level of scrutiny over a polo match.
- see also h . fuck the rules for ORIGIN

bunch of sticks . heckle
1 A dubiously (if at all) politically correct term for faggot. eg. “You are such a bunch of sticks”

cat basketball . noun
1 Shortly after dog soccer was created. The Great Old Cats (Ceiling Cat, Long Cat, Basement Cat, and Tacgnol) vying for control of the Earth and all it’s meme’s created the sport and it was observed by mortal cats and was played for thousands of years until the uprising of the humans and it was almost forgotten if it were not for the cat whisperers of the Andes discovering the Great Old Cat sport and dumbing it down to a more humanistic form and thus bike polo was born.

check . verb
1 A player using their body or bike to knock opposing player onto the barriers or ground. Can be a penalty. Can be awesome.

cheating . verb
1 Playing sober. 

chicken wing
1 Using the elbow (like a chicken wing) to push or hook an opponents drive hand in an attempt to knock the player off. This is a penalty.

cintre . noun
1 Kiwi for centre.
-see also n . muddle

clown shoes . heckle
1 An insult inferring that the player is a joke, including their actions, habits, appearance, and ultimately, their existence.

cluster fuck . verb
1 When many players and or the ball get jammed in a corner or tight situation. 2 heckle . Shouted by crowd at above situation.

coming on your backside . heckle
1 Used to tell a player you are behind them.

corner goal . heckle
1 A ball shot into the corner of the court. Usually a long windup followed by a laser shank to the corner pole of the court.

cross Crandall . noun
1 Shooting on goal over your steering arm.

cunt-hammer . heckle 
1 Exclamation expressing support or enthusiasm.
e.g. “Judy’s had the baby and it’s not addicted to crack? Cunt-hammer! That’s a miracle.”
2 a . Used to indicate the awesomeness of something. e.g. “Have you seen that cunt-hammer new headset on Greg’s polo bike?”
3 n . A blunt instrument used to strike a vagina.

dab . verb (Dabbed, Dabbing)
1 To place a foot on the ground during play.

Detroit pass . noun
1 A drop pass where the two team mates cross and the direction of play is switched. Similar to what the Wings used to do at the blue line usually to make space for a pass or shot.

dick move . heckle
1 Shouted at a player when blatantly cheating or playing in an unsporting manner. 2 v . To play in the manner above. eg. “That check was such a dick move.”

do you go down on your Mum like that? . heckle
1 Asked when a player crashes hard.
- ORIGIN 2011 Nationals in Adelaide, Majestic Pink Shafts brainstormed the most controversial heckle they could to unleash on the National stage.

DOGSOCCER! . heckle
1 The true definition was lost aeons ago. Physicists have discovered it existed before the Big Bang, floating as a lone pulse of energy in the infinite void. Physicists hypothesise it caused the Big Bang and the infinitely expanding rush of matter that created the universe as we know it. Shouted randomly at any interval as it is alway relevant.
2 noun . Team name of Brook, Captain Morgan and Tom (Sydney) who came third at Nationals 2012.
3 Also know as “the Dog Particle”.

dolphin slap. noun
1 Taking your opponent’s front wheel out or making contact with them with a whipping motion where your rear wheel is in the air. This is a penalty.

donkey punch . noun
1 Hitting the ball out of the air while holding the mallet near the head.

doughnut . noun
1 Scoring zero when beaten in a first to five game.

fat goals . noun
1 Important, lead or momentum changing goals.

fifth corner . noun
1 A player who when you pass to them you know you’re never getting the ball back. (East Van)

five hole . noun
1 The space under a goal keepers bottom bracket.

freedom block . noun
1 Using the shaft to block a goal by quickly ducking and touching the ground while staying on the bike in goal.
-SEE ALSO hulk smash . noun and knuckle dragging . noun

fuck the rules . heckle
1 Protest against over-refereeing and needless game stoppage, eg. during 2012 Nationals, DOGSOCCER! vs. Majestic Pink Shafts quarter final game and the over zealous refereeing.

goal hole . noun
1 The goal space between back or front wheel and the post or under a goal keepers bike. 2 Website you are ogling right now douche-bag.

hook . verb
1 Using a mallet to pull another players mallet away from the ball.

hotdog . noun
1 A wheelie on a bike, usually when drunk. eg Andy Tipene: “No drunken hotdogs this Nationals.”

hulk smash . noun
1 Using the shaft to block a goal by quickly ducking and touching the ground while staying on the bike in goal.
-SEE ALSO freedom block . noun and knuckle dragging . noun

Jedi Council . noun

1 Australian Hardcourt Bike Polo Association. see here for more info
- see also AHBPA . abbreviation

joust . verb
1 Starting the game by charging for the ball in the centre. 2 n. The first hardcourt bike polo specific frame, the Fleet Velo – Joust.

knuckle dragging . noun
1 Using the shaft to block a goal by quickly ducking and touching the ground while staying on the bike in goal.
-SEE ALSO hulk smash . noun and  freedom block . noun

lefty magic or lefty bullshit 
1 Anything a lefty does in the sport.

Lewis . verb (lewising)
1 When a player hops their bike regaining balance to avoid dabbing. 2 heckle . When a player is hoping the crowd shout “Lewis”.
- ORIGIN Brisbane players were first introduced to this skill by a player formerly from Sydney called Lewis, his name became synonymous with the tactic.

Locky . verb
1 Hitting a player in the face with a mallet.
- ORIGIN Locky, from LSV, hit a player in the face in the final of Nationals 2010. His name became synonymous with the action.

love dick . heckle
1 Graffitied on players bikes, helmets and as knuckles tattoo’s in permanent marker.
-ORIGIN Nationals 2011 Adelaide, LSV had too much time and a texta.

mallet . noun (pl. mallets)
1 Commonly a piece of poly ethylene pipe attached to aluminium tubing (ski pole), but can be made of other materials. 2 verb . (malleting, malleted) To place a mallet under a players front wheel.

more goalies . heckle
1 Shouted at a team using double or triple keeper.

more wind up . heckle
1 Shouted at a player when making repeated big swing shots.

muddle . noun
1 Kiwi for middle.
- see also n . cintre

NAH . noun
1 The organising body for North American Hardcourt Bike Polo. 2 verb . Playing in a rough, physical manner similar to that in North American polo. Usually shouted by the player while being rough. (Dom)

nice pass . heckle
1 When a player misses a shot. Mostly when there was an open pass.

no arms . heckle
1 Used to sarcastically compliment a persons shot, eg “Nice shot No Arms”.

no wheelie no goal . heckle
1 Shouted at a player after scoring.

not a single fuck was given . noun (NASFWG)
1 Scotties attitude at tournaments, specifically him lying nonchalant on barriers while smoking a ciggy.
2 Team name for Ned, Prawi and Scottie who won AHBPC 2012, their logo was a photo of Scottie in the above position.

penis! . heckle
1 Shouted at players about to shoot for goal in an attempt to put them off. 2 Shouted in a crowd as loud as possible to cause a ruckus.

pick up . noun
1 Informal style of polo played across the world where commonly players in teams are randomly drawn by dividing the mallets on the court. Systems and rules vary with region.

rootbeer approved . noun
1  A mark of honor to anything bearing the seal.

shitballs or sickballs . verb
1 Ether a positive or negative term.

shepherds hook . noun
1 Referring to strange mallet heads made in a mold out of melted plastic bag.

shoeing . verb
1 A Brisbane sign of respect where the crowed throws their shoes at a player. Hard. Not to be confused with the modern Arab protest of shoeing. Often reserved for spectacular play or a fair-well.
-ORIGIN Invented by Rootbeer while heckling Johnson for not getting out of goal during a Sunday pick up game. It soon evolved into a mark of respect, albiet violent and smelly.

shot . noun
1 To hit the ball with the round end of the mallet, enabling the player to score a goal.

shotgun . verb
1 Method of sculling a can of beer, usually by piercing the bottom of the can.

shuffle . verb
1 To hit the ball with the flat of the mallet, not using the round tip like a shot. 2 To score a goal with anything that is not a shot eg. the shaft.

the sixth defender . noun
1 Taking a hard shot that ends up in your own wheel cover.

slash . verb
1 Using a shaft to hit another players shaft, aiming to break the shaft or disarm the player. Now considered a penalty. 2 noun . Glam rock guitarist with a hat and a mop of hair

stale bread . verb
1 Gently shooting the ball by tapping to catch a keeper off guard.

strawpedo . verb
1 Using a straw as a snorkel to scull a beer.

t-bone . verb
1 To crash into the side of a player, this can incur a sever penalty.

tap-out . verb
1 To tap one of two central points after dabbing allowing player to return to play.

Tulsa Turnaround . noun
1 Tulsa Turnaround is similar to the Blind Watson in that both shoot the ball behind you while riding away from the goal. The difference is that the Tulsa Turnaround is steering side shot that requires you to reach across and over your bars to shoot the ball behind you. (Portland)
-ORIGIN Named after the Kenny Rogers song of the same name.

thats what she said . heckle
1 Used in any situation where a person says anything that can be taken as sexual eg “I can’t get it in”, “Your mallet is really long” etc. 2 noun . Team name of the 2011 Nationals runners up from Adelaide.

top key . noun
1 A play, calling for a pass in front of the oppositions goal.
- DERIVATIVES Tea Kettle and TK
- ORIGIN Tea Kettle was made famous by Captain Morgan as a heckle against Brisbane players at the Taupo Tap-Out in New Zealand.

tripod . verb
1 A player balancing on the bike using the mallet for support, resembling a tripod.

whip . noun
1 Term for bike.

wild swings . verb
1 Shots made with a large windup of the players mallet. Can be derogatory.

you’ll do . heckle
1 Gold Coast pickup line, used by Bennet to distract the opposition or to woo Ollie – usually followed by the pick up line: “Want to come back to my caravan and look at my Centrelink cheque?”

Alternate names for Bike Polo:
- Bike Polo
- Hardcourt
- Bike Hockey
- Faggot Bike Golf
- Space hockey
- Extreme Urban Hammerball
- Honkey ball
- Bicycle stick fighting

Have any more ideas? Contact us and send us a definition?

By Ollie Wykeham

A guide for the uninitiated

First things first:
get your shit there in one piece. Baggage handlers are the devil. When they are not busy framing Saints like Chappelle Corby, they are breaking your trusty steed.

Step 1,
Get a bike bag: Any decent bag company will sell you one. Constantly borrowing bike bags is like borrowing condoms; it’s not going to make you any friends when it rips. Boxes are bulky and impossible to ride with, bags like the BO gear bike back are not only light and compact but will double as a pillow or sleeping bag when you get to that host’s house where you will be sleeping the next few nights.

Step 2,
get to the airport early and pack that shit right: Fork and dropout inserts. They are cheap and probably came in the box your bike came in. Your local bike shop will help you out. Dropouts get squashed and will no longer fit your wheel, those pretty carbon forks are going to smash and you are going to cry. Make sure you have no tools floating around your on board luggage; anything can be used as a weapon, don’t you know? Other common things broken in transit are brake callipers and pedals that have been left in cranks, secure it with tape or bubble wrap it.

An example of a quality bike bag, BO GEAR’s BIKE BAG

Step 3, Get there early.
If you are arriving a day or two before the tournament, get down to the courts. Help the locals set up barriers, if you have ever had to organise a tournament you know that every set of hands is valuable. Even if it is just doing a coffee or beer run, every little bit will help the weekend run smoother. Meeting people in a new city can be difficult, but people will always be more receptive to someone who has helped them out.

Not all courts possess the amazing topography and unparalleled surfacing of Musgrave park. Make sure you get a few practice games in to get used to the court size and surface. Pre-tournament pickup are some of the best games you will play. Just remember not to tire yourself out too much or give away any of your secret moves.

Get to know your local ‘man of vice’.
No matter where you go, there will always be someone who will go out of the way to show visitors a good time. Whether it be a good local beer, a vegan friendly restaurant or something more sinister, it is always good to know a local. Just be careful and don’t forget that in the morning when the tournament starts, they will be your nemesis once again. Don’t do or try anything the locals don’t, you might wake up with a case of food poisoning or an embarrassing itch from the city’s seedier establishments.

By Jamie Barber